By Isabel Volpe
A “boomeranger” is a term for a person who returns to a place or situation after some time away, in particular a young adult who goes back to live with a parent or parents after a period of independence. The largest group of boomerangers are recent grads who attended college in another state or country, and then returned to their parents to figure out their next steps.
I am a boomeranger.
I grew up in Pittsburgh, then I moved to Baltimore to attend Loyola University Maryland. During my time at Loyola, I had a tight-knit friend group and found my lifelong best friends. Upon graduation, I wasn’t just celebrating the years of work I put into earning my degree, I was also mourning this life that I had built and become so familiar with in Baltimore.
Now that I’ve graduated, I’m back living with my parents in Pittsburgh. Returning to a city you haven’t inhabited for the past four years can be both exciting and jarring. There are a ton of new restaurants, things to do, and construction to avoid.
I have been navigating this new Pittsburgh largely alone, and it’s been difficult adjusting. I went from having booked weekends with laughter, parties, friends, and new experiences, to weekends in my room, in my parent’s house on a Saturday night.
This experience, of course, is not unique – I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. In her book The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins calls this experience “The Great Scattering.” This term describes the early-20s phenomenon following graduation where everyone goes their separate ways, suddenly charged with navigating life and making new friends without the support system of a university.
I have found myself in the middle of my own Great Scattering. Most of my friends from school live in Philly, New Jersey, or New York, leaving them in a close radius of each other, while Pittsburgh’s 5-7 hour distance is rather isolating, leaving my weekends (and potentially the next 40 years) impressively open.
So how can I rebuild a social life in a city that is familiar but also new?
Luckily, there are a few different routes to take when you find yourself in a new city and are looking to build and maintain friendships. If you are athletic or the sports type, I would definitely recommend joining the Pittsburgh Sports League, or checking out pick-up games through Good Rec. They have a ton of different sports offerings and levels to make anyone feel comfortable. You can join with a team or as an individual, which I know is pretty intimidating, but everyone is super welcoming and all in the same boat.
Another route I would recommend is Facebook groups. It turns out that Facebook is back – apparently everyone is using it to find groups with mutual interests. Book clubs and coffee meetups are a pretty standard way to meet new people, and you can find plenty of local options on Facebook. There are also a lot of hobby-based classes and communities to discover. Personally, I am interested in pottery, and looking at classes at Union Project, Contemporary Craft, or Workshop PGH.
Tips for engaging
Be brave: The first few times of putting yourself out there and trying new things are obviously the hardest (I still need to take some first steps myself). But once you do, you won’t regret it.
Be open: Try to be open to everyone. Being out of college in the real world means that new friends can come in any form at any age.
Be patient: Give yourself time and grace to open up to these new experiences. You may not like something at first, and it may feel uncomfortable, but the best things in life truly are not easy.
At my graduation, one of the key speakers gave our class an outstanding piece of advice: “The best wine is yet to be served.” As soon as it was said, I thought to myself, yes, the best wine is yet to come. Amazing things are going to happen and it won’t be right away. It will take time, but your people will come. Life after college is a huge transitional period, and arguably one of the most impactful. So try different things, be open to different people, foods, and cultures, and hopefully soon you will find yourself right where you are supposed to be.
